Your 27th birthday cake is sitting on the counter next to your birthday candle. You are my love, my life, my pride, my joy. Without you, I have nothing, am nothing. I miss your voice, your scent, your smile, the world with you in it, every single second of every single day. Mommy loves you more than anything, more than everything - always have, always will.

As a child I was always alone.... never had a real friend, a best friend. Then my son was born and grew into a perfect man, and for those (almost) 20 years I knew what it meant to have a best friend. Someone who loves me for who I am and who comforts me just by being there. Now he is gone and I am back to being alone. Only now I am alone knowing what love and friendship are. My heart is full of my son's spirit and memories, and yet I feel so alone.

My mother would like you to believe that my life started on January 23, 1964. The fact is that my life actually started 30 years later on November 23, 1994. The day my one and only child, a perfect son, was born. My life with my beautiful, brilliant son was happy, joyous, and complete. I have never known such happiness and my soul was never so full. On September 2, 2014, everything changed. There are no words to describe life without my son in it. Despair is not deep enough, grief is not dark enough, and alone is not profound enough. I have to believe that he is the brightest star shining on the other side and that he is happy and at peace. I love you more than words can say, my sweet sweet son, and I miss you beyond rational thought. You were, are, and always will be my beautiful, brilliant, amazing son. My life, my soul, my everything.